Consciously choose life over death
Dear suicidal loved one,
If you are reading this note, then it means you are still alive and I can still tell you something important.
I was told that you are planning to leave us, and this wretched earth behind as you seek to be in a better place.
A place where the pain is no more. Where you don’t cry anymore. Some space where there is no pressure for good living. A place where you don’t have to be two people in one because ‘hutaki kuharibu jina (you don’t want to ruin the reputation)’. A place where it doesn’t matter whether you are weak or small. There, you are not judged against shifting standards. and your mistakes don’t haunt you.
It is a fact that this earth is proving difficult to live in every day. To be honest, you are stronger than many of us. Yeah, really. Let me explain how.
What you may not know
You see, many of us have resigned ourselves to fate. “Whatever shall be shall be” is our motto for living. You on the other hand have come to a place of deciding. I’ve had enough! You have reached the end or at least you feel you’ve reached the end, but instead of letting things overwhelm you, you have decided to do something about it instead of just giving up or giving in.
Nothing is more dangerous than a man or woman who is not afraid to die. Why? Because you can dare to do the undone. You can actually look at those things that are haunting you and you tell them, “If you haven’t killed me by now, then you are too late.”
In life, people talk
I have listened to people talk about a person who has actually committed suicide and I have to say, sometimes I wonder if that person would have taken that option to deal with things if he/ she had had the opportunity to hear these conversations.
I hear people say things like
‘he was so kind and helpful’
‘after talking to her, she would leave you with so much hope’
‘I loved the way he played the piano. His music was the concert-quality type’
‘she was always there for you. Even when she had nothing else to give, her presence was in abundance’.
I suppose you might have been told such things but you thought we were flattering you. If we haven’t told you, let me tell you now. No one in this world can who can add the flavor that you carry. If only you could change your mind and apply that decisiveness into exposing all the good that is enveloped in you.
When you are gone from this life
To be honest, we will miss you when you go. Your creativity, your laughter, your presence, you as a person. You will be dearly missed.
Some people that I loved deeply, left me after making the same decision that you are opting for. I was angry at first, because after all, how could they? No warning, no indication, no by-the-way, nothing. One day we were laughing, the next day, they were dead.
They made a decision to disrupt my life by ending theirs! Who told them I wanted them out of my life? How did they conclude that my life was better without them around? Who told them that they were not strong enough to deal with the crap of this earth? What made them think that I couldn’t help with the issues they had? Who told them that there was no solution to their problems? How could someone be so selfish?
After all the crying and ranting, I decided to wear their shoes and I stopped being angry and became more understanding and forgiving.
Maybe they didn’t know how to ask for help. Perhaps I wasn’t as good a friend as I thought I was. Probably they had tried to seek help but didn’t get the feedback they expected. Perhaps they just didn’t know a different solution existed. Maybe… perhaps… probably… maybe.
I’ve played that maybe tape so often until I came to the realization that it will never stop. I will never know the actual reason why suicide was a better option for someone I cared about.
Before you go
So, after so many maybe’s, I decided that while I may not bring back the ones that have gone, I might have a chance to tell the one who wants to go to the other world through suicide to hold on for another moment.
Take a moment to realize that just because life has hit you from every angle and in every brutal way, it has not robbed you of the gems that are in you. Even if they are unrefined, they are still gems. Gold covered in mud and dirt is still gold.
Take a moment to realize that the better life you want, the forgiveness, the new beginning, the 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 10th or whatever chance you want, lies in your tongue, your mind, and in your hands.
Take a moment to realize that this world will not be a better place because you have committed suicide. It will be a sadder place. It will be a short-changed place because you will have gone with all the greatness that you carry within you. If you carry the gift of writing, you will go with many bestsellers that we will never get to read. If you are a kind person, imagine how many hearts will not be transformed by your kindness.
My point is that you committing suicide will only positively impact you and that is a very small portion of the world on which to make an impact.
If you want to remain incognito, activate the gift in you and know who you are. Dying will only serve to make people know and talk about you more.
If it is a statement you want to make to your loved ones, there are better ways to make us miss you and wish we were more in your life. Like you can move to another city or country and start your life afresh, or you can change your phone number, make new friends, change your hair, delete your social media accounts and move to a new neighborhood. In those new spaces, let your gift, talents, and skills shine and make something of yourself.
The reality of life is this dear one, once you commit suicide, that’s it. That’s the end of life as you know it. There is no reincarnation, there is no rebirth, there is no hope. There is just you and your maker.
Whatever is making you decide to do this, is not an impossible reality. It has a different solution and you can get that solution because you are strong enough to say, “Enough is Enough. This thing, won’t disturb me anymore.”